@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
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@ashlar36: Grandma: what's oversharing? Me: It's when you talk about your hemorrhoid surgery on FaceBook.
@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
@_davidlucas_: If your human doesn't feed you immediately, run in front of their feet and trip them up. ~Cats, apparently.
@hippieswordfish: when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent