@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
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@cosmicbibi: Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research.
@bggas400: You never know how many people are out jogging early in the morning till you back out of your driveway with frost covered windows.
@UncleDuke1969: "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?" "No." "Why not, sir?" "Because, it would make my rabbi sad."