@The_Just_Factor: Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door.
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@1CleverGirl1: Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:.................
@Chumpstring: [standoff] NEGOTIATOR: hey chief the gunman says he has all the poetry you wrote in high school POLICE CHIEF: tell the snipers to stand down
@HatfieldAnne: My mother had a cure for slouching. I still flinch when there's movement in my periphery, but I've got posture like a Marine.
@Love_bug1016: Gentle reminder to send that good morning text so she doesn't have to draw on her angry eyebrows.