@The_Just_Factor: Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door.
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@1evilidiot: [couples therapy] "Have you tried sexy lingerie?" me: yeah but it just creeps her out.
@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
@Jake_Vig: Women never find it devilishly charming when I follow them into the lady's room. Thanks a lot, "Top Gun".
@TinaMav: I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's room. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!