@mxrk: Nice try, poison.
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@Ristolable: [At supermarket] "Excuse me do you work here?" WHAT? ME? Work HERE? Hell no. I went to college. I don't have a job
@ch000ch: hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP "Wake up!" SLAM *runs back downstairs "No, he's not."