@_SetTheHook_: Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors.
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@scarebro: Maybe your parents told you a watched pot never boils so you wouldn't go around sticking your face near boiling water, idiot.
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*
@peachesanscream: Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows.
@Wanderlust6190: I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score.