@vladchoc: Nice try, theatre ad. But some of us don't need to put our phones on silent, for we have prevented calls with our deplorable personalities.
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@DILLONFRANCIS: My mom has been trying to forward me an email since Monday June 23rd.....it's now Friday June 27th.... still no email
@EndhooS: [Wakes up in hospital after car crash] I'm afraid we had to amputate both of your feet. "OMG why?" You were too tall to fit in the ambulance
@DumbConfessions: Relationship status: can't go to the same bar as last night, because I'm wearing the same shirt as last night.
@donni: Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment