@rzarosco: Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?
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@WheelTod: "Good parenting isn't giving your kid everything she needs, but giving her the tools to get it for herself" I say, handing my 6yo a crossbow
@SharkJelly: Clark Kent "I have a confession" Lois Lane "what is it?" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois "Is it a bird?" Clark "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning? Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.
@KyleMcDowell86: [commercial for mops] *scene of a man licking up a pool of spilled soda off the dirty floor* "There has to be a better way" Narrator:MOPS