@NoogsCorner: Nickelback jokes are the Nickelback of jokes.
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@fabulouscop: [at doctor] can u cough for me please? *coughs* again please *coughs* i see i see. i'm afraid you have a cough
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*