@BallsMcBallski: Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies? Me: That’s an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4
@thecoliny: DATE: so what kind of writing do you do? ME: um, cursive, regular… DATE: no I mean- ME: actually I can't do cursive :/
@AllieA: My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head.
@TuffyNyC: It's nice when my kitchen smells extra clean cause I used an entire bottle of Clorox to kill one ant.