@Kyle_Lippert: Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu.
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@TEXASVETERAN: I got out of bed this morning and decided it was time to turn it around. So, I did a 180 and went back to bed.
@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
@BaileysIrishTom: What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever.
@SmiggieBalls2: *grandpa in hospice* "son your generation relies on technology too much" "no gramps" *pulls the plug* "yours does." beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep