@Kyle_Lippert: Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu.
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@Token_Geezer: Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
@JillianKarger: DOCTOR: when was the last time you exercised? ME: *thinking about holding the thermometer under my tongue* dude you were there
@UncleDuke1969: Me: You should cut your toenails. Wife: Huh? M: You're scratching my leg. W: I'm WAY on the other side of the bed! M: That's kinda my point.
@amechamecha: After spending 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off, I decided to give up. I wish I'd never put it on in the first place..