@torrami: Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working.
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@grammar_c**t: "I love you" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to "I got this round."
@JohnLyonTweets: Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved.