@torrami: Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working.
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? [flashback to me trying to sword fight all the customers at Toys R Us] Me: discrimination
@EyeSeeYou619: I do a spot-on impersonation of Linda Blair in The Exorcist whenever a drive-thru cashier asks me to pull ahead bc my order isn't ready.