@animaldrumss: No, actually I hate gambling, that's why the dice on my shirt are on fire. If I see someone start to gamble I'll burn up his gambling dice.
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@LlamaInaTux: Turbulence is when the airplane hits someone's family photos backed up in the cloud.
@Xoolun: I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
@JesKeepSwimming: I'm sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
@Reverend_Scott: [sees friend at the store] "Hi" Hey "Where's your better half?" The PS4's at home "No I mean-" Where WOULD it be? Wow, dumb question.