@ndiquote: No Auto-correct, I never meant "Relationship Goats".
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@jonnysun: hey maybe ur parents care so much about ur birthday becuase it celebrates how long theyve been able to keep something alive for
@jlock17: Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."
@Roweboat13G: *boss stops meeting* Mike, is there something you'ld like to share with the whole group? Me: Nooooo, that's why I whispered it to Alan.
@badbanana: Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her.