@stephaniehas: No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face.
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@KimmyMonte: Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER
@LinajkReturns: If he's hot on your heels, dump him. You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do.
@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.
@ibid78: [in hospital] -dude what happened? "I got hit by a bu- [a bus taps on the window, does neck slice motion] -I mean I fell down the stairs"