@nPhelendriqal: No autocorrect, I don't want to bang a bunch of hot chimps.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatUPSdude: Her: We have rats! Me: We do? Her: Look something gnawed thru this package of cookies! Me: (wipes crumbs from my mouth) I'll buy traps.
@robfee: I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: what’s going on? ME: [locking the door] I haven’t had an apple in 3 days DOCTOR: [outside, stethoscope in hand] I can hear u breathing