@SlipperySecret: No c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ donuts left behind.
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@Thynebear: [wife walks in on me showering] "Why are you wearing swim trunks?" No reason. [she glares at me] SO MY TEMPORARY TATTOOS DON'T COME OFF OKAY
@chadopitz: Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.
@OVO_Ty15: Do we really have to hear Adam Levine talk about how he used to have acne problems? That poor guy.. how'd he ever survive.