@SlipperySecret: No c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ donuts left behind.
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@causticbob: I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, "Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?" "Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied
@jonnysun: [taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: ａｌｗａｙｓ
@sween: When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."
@RandomlyMJ: Thanks to Twitter I will never again ask a man "What are you thinking?" Because now I know and I am horrified.