@GermanFreckles: No, cough syrup, you're not grape flavoured. Have you ever tasted a grape? You taste like death and the tears of small children, not grape.
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@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@KyleMcDowell86: IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS *breaks glass* *a glazed honey ham pops out* "Nice nice"
@Tw1tter_K1tten: This medicine says I should not operate heavy machinery, so I guess I won't be doing laundry for the next two weeks. Safety first.
@dance_blessed: I got this "breathe" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.