@wjflowers: "No flying cars yet?", he wrote from a 2 inch by 4 inch pocket computer instantaneously to subscribers worldwide using only his right thumb.
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@SondraDeeMe: [mattress store interview] "What would you bring to this job?" A blanket, some cheetos, wrinkle cream, probably a television.
@Douchekevin: The problem was that everyone was poking my ex on Facebook. And in my bed And on my couch And in my car And when I was at work
@Kyle_Lippert: Robin Thicke is what would happen if a roofie became a human and decided to make music.