@wjflowers: "No flying cars yet?", he wrote from a 2 inch by 4 inch pocket computer instantaneously to subscribers worldwide using only his right thumb.
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@Purple_Pito: My cousin posted a meme in family group chat and my aunt said "maybe this is the year you find a husband like the way you find good jokes" 💀
@TheWoodenslurpy: Most embarrassing thing a human being can experience is publicly unrequited love. Second is having the noisy grocery cart.
@Jinxy00: Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves.
@stockejock: Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :(