@TheBoydP: No generation will ever be joked about as much as millennials.
Gen Z: Hold my tide pod...
@KyleMcDowell86: *pulls fire alarm in apt building*
*everyone runs outside*
[Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP
@LinajkReturns: If he's hot on your heels, dump him.
You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do.
@LostCatDog: He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit piñata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes
@FeverFlave: First date:
And if you could slide over a little bit my Mom would like to sit next to you...
@sixfootcandy: [blind date]
Me: So you can't see me?
Him: Nope. Not at all.
Me: (stops sucking in gut) This is the best date ever!