@AphroditeAfter5: No Grandma, an iPad is not a new brand of Maxi Pads
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@WheelTod: My boss has a rather shrill phone voice. I once spent 20m talking to him, before realizing it was actually someone trying to send us a fax.
@flashember: Desperate, I pull a goose from my bag and throw it screaming into the bully's face. Gertrude, my biggest and angriest goose, destroys him.
@qwertygirl: People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, "Thanks!"--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing.
@QwertyJones3: [Starbucks] "Yes, I'd like a venti skinny soy half-sweet one-pump caramel macchiato half-caff extra whip, please." Barista: Is Pepsi ok?