@AphroditeAfter5: No Grandma, an iPad is not a new brand of Maxi Pads
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@sixthformpoet: Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!
@LerbsyCherbs: I walk with a limp so people think I have a gun in my boot. And because I sprained my ankle running away from a moth.
@stephenjmolloy: [Pharmacy] Me: I need 50 packets of condoms Pharmacist: Somebody has a busy weekend! *I wink* *cut to me making raincoats for my pet snakes*