@AphroditeAfter5: No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ojedge: [red carpet] "So Ryan, who are u with tonight?" Ryan Gosling [proudly] "My parents" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]
@WheelTod: [On date] Me: Duck! That's my wife outside the restaurant Her: What!? Your profile said "single dad!" Me: Exactly. We're a one dad family
@TheTweetOfGod: I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits.
@CuppleOthoughts: Biden: We need theme music when we walk into a room Obama: Joe be professional Biden: STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, CRAZY MOTHER- #BidenMemes