@ceejoyner: No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.
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@ThisOneSayz: 3yo: play it again! Me: I can't, baby *3yo throws epic fit* Radio, you're tearing this family apart.
@somecleverthing: Want to avoid making excuses when people ask you to hang out? Always say no when someone asks "wanna hear something amazing?"
@jdforshort: If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?