@ceejoyner: No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.
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@Rollmaninoz: Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere.
@EliHansenMusic: I'm at my most immature when girls misspell "cologne" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells
@Sickayduh: BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.