@CulturedRuffian: Whenever I say bad words like 'diet', I wash my mouth out with doughnuts.

@LurkAtHomeMom: Just punched myself in the face trying to swat away a mosquito. Think I'm officially done with summer. Proceed with the pumpkin spice shit.

@CheryeDavis: It's not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.

@AimeeHelene1: Being brave is overrated. Just run away, screaming, like a normal human being.

@leechee420: You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose "creepy weird dude."