@Ah_kee_oh: No I don't hate my boss. It's just that I wish his toilet paper was sand paper.
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@jordan_stratton: [Wife walks in wearing nothing but whipped cream] Oh my god, Linda, it's like you've never even heard of ants.
@LoveNLunchmeat: We're all different. For example, some folks get up early to exercise... And others get up early to eat cookies before the kids wake up.
@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it