@Ah_kee_oh: No I don't hate my boss. It's just that I wish his toilet paper was sand paper.
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@p_net: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea. I pretty much just zone out whenever I'm behind the wheel. Did anyone die?
@IngestMyBabies: If a cop tazed me and then yelled "Raiden Wins!"... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him.
@Cheese_Pile: [First day of class at law school] *raises hand* Hi, yes. When do we get our white, curly wigs?
@JustinGuarini: You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now