@Ah_kee_oh: No I don't hate my boss. It's just that I wish his toilet paper was sand paper.
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@SteelFontana: If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They'll thank you later.
@Brampersandon_: ME (wakes up from coma): whatve I missed WIFE: Trump's running for prez & the Cubs are favs to win the World Series M: haha ok but srsly tho
@HomeProbably: The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.