@AristotlesNZ: No, I don't hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die.
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@ibid78: [math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
@SaltyCorpse: I hate when I get branded "Meanest Mom" so early in the morning. It gives me nothing to shoot for the rest of the day.
@robfee: Worst things the parents do in Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza
@aldenskii: *in an interview* Me: Tell me a time when you really struggled in your previous job. Applicant: 5-7PM po. Me: Applicant: 8PM. Me: