@VerbsRProudest: NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIDE DISH I'M BRINGING BUT I'M ANNOYED SO IT WILL BE SOMETHING MASHED
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@steveolivas: If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?
@BuckyIsotope: MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor
@NoLuckWanted: A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied "Only for you, baby". Now he feels special.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: 10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby? Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it's probably to drop off.