@yourpencilskirt: No I don't think you're stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? You didn't, the brakes did. Cop: But do you know why? Cuz I pressed the pedal with my foot? Cop: Get out.
@williamwanton: I blame 2 of my 3 DUIs on Jesus because I specifically told him to take the wheel
@KingRainhead: me: i dont want any kids person: *low chuckle* oh, you'll change your mind. me: *grabs them by collar* tell me more about the future, wizard
@prontopup: Kristen Stewart is proof that if you're making a face and someone slaps you on the back it will get stuck like that forever.