@yourpencilskirt: No I don't think you're stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
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@LnL245: I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car
@MarfSalvador: Cop: My informant told me where the killer is Chief: Nice. Did he give you a name? Cop: No chief *frowns* my parents did that
@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.