@IamEnidColeslaw: NO I WOULD NOT LIKE TO KNOW WHAT FRUIT MY BODY IS SHAPED LIKE
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@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug
@stockejock: You'll sleep when you're dead?...that's adorable. Well, I'll lose weight when I'm dead, so pass the doughnuts.
@kodeeezzzy: Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it "Some Aliens"
@mrtruthandsoul: 5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole.