@GuyConfused: No, I'm not damaging my liver. I'm about to sterilize it using alcohol.
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@msdanifernandez: I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn.
@Thynebear: Executioner: Before we do this, what would you like for your last meal? "I'll have a panda please" [judge, under his breath] Can he do that?
@Book_Krazy: Turtle 911: Whats ur emergency? Turtle: MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DISAPPEARED! 911: Have u tried looking in her house? Turtle: oops never mind.
@DebraMuffin: No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall.