@GuyConfused: No, I'm not damaging my liver. I'm about to sterilize it using alcohol.
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@shariv67: "You know how when birds fly in a V formation one side is always longer?" "Yeah. Why is that?" "There are more birds on that side."
@closetoclassy: Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair.
@TheCiscoKidder: Me: It'll just make mom grumpy, so don't tell her that the dishwa..... 4 year old: MOM! DISHWASHER'S BROKEN!