@bigmacher: No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us.
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@thenatewolf: ME: If only there was an instrument that sounded like a really sassy duck. CLARINET PLAYER: [excitedly moistening his reed] Buckle up baby.
@myles_morrison: The power going out for 15 minutes is enough to crush any fantasy I have about surviving a zombie apocalypse.