@bigmacher: No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us.
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@jaelteon: interviewer: do you have any experience in a leadership role? me: well, I am the group admin for a WhatsApp group
@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.
@Cheeseboy22: The greatest joy you can feel as a parent is when you get the call that they've canceled your kid's Saturday sporting event.
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun.