@bacon_gillepic: No intelligent people were harmed in the reading of this tweet
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@enigmaterics: I've started my new diet by putting a salad in front of the beer. Thus I have to move it to get a beer. Because exercise is important too.
@1followernodad: [at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left.
@vanderwangwe: The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!