@jus4golf: No kid, you don't have it hard. When I was a kid we had to eat without camera phones.
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT
@DallyDoll: My microwave beeps if I don't open the door within 30 seconds of it stopping. I'm fat, microwave. I won't forget there's food in there.
@Bagyants: Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about