@bridger_w: No love I have for someone could ever be strong enough to make me think it was appropriate to stand side-by-side with them on an escalator
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@Kyle_Lippert: [Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie..
@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.
@ohthatbadger: 30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing.