@iGreenMonk: No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in their coffee.
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@AmishPornStar1: I long for the days when waking up with a "stiff one" wasn't referring to my lower back.
@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@osigat: My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.
@TheAlexP: * wishes on shooting star " the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"