@theabstractass: No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
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@SheBanggs: I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both.
@AndyAsAdjective: *sips some coffee & interrupts break room conversation* "Technically we're all under the weather today unless you're an astronaut in orbit"
@shatterpants: If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu.
@jergarl: Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, "LIAR!" into her ear after I watched her type "lol". She did NOT lol.