@theabstractass: No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
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@sfreeze6: One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over.
@FunnyCauseImFat: At 1am I'm going to wake up my 2 year old by yelling his name and crying. Then, I'll crawl into his toddler bed. Let's see how he likes it.
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit
@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.