@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
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@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
@PinkCamoTO: H: I think we should see other people. Me: Do I have to? I don't even really want to see you.
@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"
@beefman138: My local police department must really love me. They've devoted an entire facebook post about me, and described me as 'outstanding'.