@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
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@electrolemon: "It's Adam and Eve, not Adamant Eve!" Despite his clever wordplay, Eve stands her ground. " I'm not doing butt stuff, Adam."
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@joejwest: MARATHON RUNNER: [breaks through ribbon at finish line] GUY WHO LOVES MARATHONS: Hooray GUY WHO LOVES RIBBONS: What the shit