@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
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@One_FineMess: A cig takes 7 minutes off your life A piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life According to my calculations I should have died in 1812
@notalogin: Headline: "Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds". AKA, "My eye is up here".
@419BillE: Friend- "You're drunk." Me- *mocking voice* "You're drunk." Friend- "Stop." Me- *morphs into clone of friend* "Stop."