@ajax06: No matter how powerless you feel, just think to yourself, one single pubic hair off of your body can shut down an entire restaurant.
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@iLikeCatShirts: *throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.
@benrector: Me: hey, I'm looking for an email. iPhone mail: this one from 2012, unrelated to your search? Me: no it was last week iPhone: can't find it.
@Brianhopecomedy: I know I did a good job dressing my 3 year old when my wife doesn't have to tell everyone she sees that I dressed her.