@bourgeoisalien: No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother
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@peachesanscream: To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.
@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@causticbob: What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.