@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrsGoose69: Don't give a women flower, she may have hay fever. Don't give her chocolate, she may be on a diet! Give her wifi so there's no excuse.
@TheTweetOfGod: Do not squander your short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Instead, try to get laid a lot.
@KeetPotato: sheep: "why do we all look the same?" other sheep: "it freaks me out tbh" another sheep: "i dont even know which one of us is me"
@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.