@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.
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@Sarcasticsapien: If life were a romantic comedy I would be the guy on a date with the girl when the male lead makes his grand gesture that wins her back.
@JoshuaHvr: Why would a straight guy hate gay guys? Here's a group of men who look better than you.. but don't even want women. You should be glad.
@martinMmorrow: Am *I* rich? Ha. Well let's just say I told my Uber driver she could order something from Taco Bell too if she wanted.
@KristinGnr: To the jogger clinging to the hood of my car: That's why you run WITH the flow of traffic