@bedroombazooka: No Microsoft, I don't want to Send an Error Report. Snitches get stitches.
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@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
@MartaEffing: I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again.