@LetGoBeFreeDoU: No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh....
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@AndyAsAdjective: "any ideas?" let's tie a bunch of helium balloons together & then hold onto the strings "whoa whoa whoa, let's not get carried away"
@PinkCamoTO: Dear Neighbours, "She's coming" isn't a great warning to give when I walk by and you stop talking.
@internetluke: [ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni