@junejuly12: No need to pay for a gym when accidentally liking a selfie online makes your palms sweat and your heart race for free.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Serious question... Would Titanic have been more romantic if they had both died, but holding hands and floating, like otters?
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Dad! Dad! My sister- Me: Stop tattling. I don't want to hear about it unless there's blood. 5: Me: 5: How much blood?
@Social_Mime: Walking my dog we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don't dress nice for him anymore.