@bees_wingz: No, no, I didn't need to talk to a customer service representative, thanks. I just wanted to hear some terrible music.
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@weenbeans: *rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: "Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a nice..Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
@t0shiba: 90 people have swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom.
@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.