@bees_wingz: No, no, I didn't need to talk to a customer service representative, thanks. I just wanted to hear some terrible music.
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@agathagotstoned: Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives.
@_davidlucas_: *Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... 😲 Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet.