@mdob11: 'NO NO NO NO NO NO' - My brain, every time words start coming out of my mouth.
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@Xalqee: You know you're an Alcoholic when you can't even say the word "sober" without making air quotes
@Kimgee8: Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust.
@krishna_van: Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'.