@ShittyComedian: No officer the joke's on you. That breathalyzer will never tell you how much acid I dropped tonight.
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@MyPornKhan: Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, "Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."
@Book_Krazy: Hub: This looks delicious! I love spaghetti! Me: I know Hub: Pass the foot powder. ~and that's why I can never eat Parmesan cheese again
@3sunzzz: [notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?