@OhNoSheTwitnt: I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other.

@pakalupapito: whatever floats ur goat

@zzoker: Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you

@DaddyJew: "Daddy, how are babies made?" "Well son, when a man and a woman have too much to drink.."

@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.