@lisaxy424: No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates.
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@SCbchbum: I never wanted to hug someone as badly as the little old man who just ordered a "small coffee flavored coffee" in Starbucks.
@foursquids: Can't believe people still say "pot" it's not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.