@lisaxy424: No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates.
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@TheGoodGodAbove: The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint
@jordanrubin: "We stopped making the style of jeans that fit you perfectly right after you bought your first pair." -Every store ever
@TheBigBatman: Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?