@lisaxy424: No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates.
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@UghNotAgain: Forced to use Axe Shampoo & Conditioner this morning and now my hair is high fiving people and calling them Braaaah.
@OneFunnyMummy: Silent Night is my favorite song about my kids staying at their grandparent's house.
@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.
@SarcasticAlly12: I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters