@GreenishDuck: No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat.
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@bobvulfov: COP: careful, this guy's insane DETECTIVE: ok [he walks into the interrogation room] ME: i dont like the creme part of oreos D: jesus christ
@WilliamRodgers: Chief Exec: Any Ideas? Writer 1: Talking Animals! Writer 2: How about a Princess? Writer 3: Kill the parents! -Brainstorming at Disney
@omgthatspunny: My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.
@Love_bug1016: No thanks Cupid. If I wanted butterflies and my heart skipping beats, I would do something less ridiculous like lose my phone.