@GreenishDuck: No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat.
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@oothikicha: Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*.
@ibid78: *angrily whispering over crib* "Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward." "But why do they need their own cribs?"
@junejuly12: No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended.