@highxpectation2: No one realizes when someone says, "The last thing I wanna do is hurt you," that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it.
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@OhMattyBoy: I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed.
@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
@Spaziotwat: [Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: "wtf?" God:"You're a crab" Crab:"wtf?" God:"Now go forth" Crab: *walks sideways "WTAF?!"
@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."