@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then
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@professorxavi: *Cute girls approaches* "You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*
@thetigersez: How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them? Like, did you ask him? Because only one of us is screaming right now.
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.