@NicCageMatch: No, please, let me give up my subway seat to your 6-year-old child who must be bone-tired from a life consisting mostly of playing & napping
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@Naked_Superman: Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless.
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?
@FSUSteve: Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?